The Cleanse – Article 1

Welcome to the “Unleash your Inner Self Series”! I am excited to launch this series of posts and I hope you’re all just as excited to read them! I am going to apologize ahead of time as the first part of this article will be a bit dark and heavy but that’s what my Blog is all about right, being real and raw. Anyway, bare with me because like anything, it always has to get worse before it gets better right!

Where does it hurt? Everywhere, mind, body, soul…it all aches….

Well, maybe not everywhere but that’s what it feels like doesn’t it? I know it did for me. Have you ever heard of “referred pain” also known as “reflective pain”? It’s pain perceived at a location other than the site of the painful source. The reason for the terminology lesson is that one very important discovery I made through my healing journey is that each time I identified what I thought was another location of my emotional or psychological pain, I quickly learned it was related to something else entirely. I like to call this referred emotional suffering, (if other people can make up words then so can I right!). It’s important you are fully aware of what you are trying to heal from, chances are there are multiple areas of your life that require TLC. This emotional referred pain can be deceiving and when you dive in head first trying to recover, say for example from a bad relationship; chances are you aren’t going to be able to. Why? Because you haven’t first been able to locate the inception of the crack in that relationship. 

Seven years ago when I initially started my emotional awareness journey (healing takes time btw so be kind and patient with yourself), the anger and sadness I felt was crushing, sometimes barely manageable. Look in a mirror?…no way, I hated what I saw looking back at me. If I were transparent and you could see me from the inside, it looked like a bad cancer with growths and tentacles attached to every part of me. Completely altering the way I saw the world and everyone in it. Self-worth was virtually non-existent and I had the confidence of a nun at an orgy (to put it mildly LOL). Anxiety was alive and well and held me back from almost everything good in this world. 

I was in direct sales at one time and sold a product called Scentsy, I had built an amazing downline of roughly 30 individuals on my team and I had won an all-expense paid 1 week trip to Nashville…..guess who didn’t go?! Me, yeah that’s right…unbelievable right! The amount of times I passed on opportunities or adventures is almost shameful because of that horrible anxiety.

I am going to share a memory with you (I promise there is a purpose which I will get to at the end).

I remember it was early Fall back in 2018 and my ex and I had a huge fight. Now, you should also know that our fights were not like “normal people” fights, they were earth shattering and absolutely fucking soul sucking! The unkind words spoken, the yelling and his anger and my incapability of being able to just walk away made for a recipe of hurricane status (sometimes over even the tiniest issues). I won’t get into the cause of this particular event but what I will tell you is that this was one of the moments that solidified my need to accelerate my healing process. I was a wreck, a total disaster with swollen eyes from crying so hard I hyperventilated and trembling like an earthquake. These arguments had a real harsh effect on my nervous system. Getting out of the house was a must but had nowhere to go, I wouldn’t open up to anyone about any of what I was going through ever. I kept all of this to myself. I only turned inward in these moments.

So, I got in the car and drove, which in hindsight I probably shouldn’t have been behind the wheel of a car. There was one place I would retreat to in these moments that may seem odd to most, but was a place I felt connected to the one person in this world that meant everything to me, my Grandmother. For a lot of my younger years I lived out on the Salisbury road which was almost like a community of its own located in Moncton. On that road there was (and is still) a graveyard called Fairhaven. No, my Nan was not buried there, she was buried in Fredericton where I was born, but for some reason I felt her presence there. So that’s where I headed. Once I arrived, I drove to the back of the graveyard away from the possibility of seeing anyone and sat in my car and cried out in desperation for help … . to the Universe, the Divine … .Guardian Angels…spirit Guide; any higher power who would listen. When I opened my eyes a few minutes later and looked out, there was the most robust beautiful Pheasant just standing there in front of my car staring at me. He stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Now, I mentioned in my first blog post (if you haven’t read it, it’s under “archived blogs”) that I whole-heartedly believe in the powers of being in tune with the Universe and its synchronicities and this beautiful pheasant had a message for me. I was certain of it, I could feel it in my bones. If you look up the spiritual meaning of the Pheasant (there are a few depending on the representation) but what I found was this.  

Protection & Guidance: The pheasant’s watchful eye represents protection, guidance, and divine intervention. 

You see, I shared this memory with you not to be all dramatic but for two reasons. Firstly, had I not been watchful and already on my journey to improve my mental health, I may not have even noticed this uplifting message. To some, that may have JUST BEEN A BIRD sitting there. I believe in magic & miracles, they’re all around us, and everyone needs something positive to focus on right. That moment will forever be burned in my thoughts. It gave me the strength to get through that sad day and keep pushing forward.

Secondly, I want you to know that if you have or had that same overpowering sadness and pain, you’re not alone. You’re not crazy or losing your mind. Trauma is real, PTSD in any capacity is real. I’ve been there and can completely relate and empathize…..sending big virtual hugs to you if this is you right now (( ))

Now all that said, brings me to my recipe for the CLEANSE. These are steps I started to implement in my life when I began my rebuild which helped me a great deal, both physically and mentally. 

In order to be successful in your healing journey; similar to surgery, you have to “prep the site” first. Otherwise it’s likely “infection” will set in and you’ll get sick all over again! (figuratively speaking Now, I am certain you’ve heard some of these suggestions before BUT these are very powerful steps to help improve your physical health which is of the utmost importance if you want to attain emotional health. You CAN NOT have one without the other, it simply doesn’t work that way:

WARNING: when you begin this discovery process be prepared! Sometimes you find that some the issue(s) started with you, and that’s part of healing. Accepting that you have flaws also and embracing them. Keep the good, rid the bad.

1. Start getting proper sleep, you can NOT think clearly if you’re over tired.
2. Change your diet if it’s the shits! No problem eating a treat every so often but eat your greens, some fruit and for god’s sake…..get some protein!
3. Exercise, I don’t care if it’s only for a 10 minute walk outside. This is a must! I suggest starting with some Yoga, to help open your Chakras.
4. Get some Sun, not nice out? Buy a Happy Light, they work too!
5. Meditate, this is so important. You MUST clear your mind and if you have a hard time, try guided meditation.
6. One of the most important items on the list; find something creative to do. Anything…paint, knit, write, build something or even colour in a colouring book. Don’t think you have a creative streak at all, feel free to contact me and I can try to walk you through finding something that’s right for you.
7. Find something good in each day. Keep a gratitude journal
8. Believe in the magic & miracles of this vast Universe.
9. NO EXCUSES!

Once you have established a decent habit applying all of these factors to your days, you will then have successfully “prepped the site” and should be ready to begin your emotional surgery. They say it usually takes a few weeks before you fully establish a habitual process. But, take the time to do it because once you do, you will be well on your way. The goal is to be able to properly dissect and identify areas of your life that need work and where there are unknown or subconscious traumas. I can’t even begin to tell you how eye opening this process will be but what I can say is, YOU are worth it …every second of it. You owe this to yourself. Be sure to allow yourself to flow through all the feelings you’re going to have, the anger, the sadness, all of it. You can’t get over it until you go THROUGH it.

I wish you the most amazing, eye opening experience and I am here to help any way I can. Feel free to send me a message which is located on my Contact Me page or shoot me an email. I am happy when I see others happy!

Until Friday, be happy, be kind and most of all LOVE YOURSELF <3